Publication Date: 19/10/2023 ISBN: 9780241626085 Category:


Schuyler Bailar

Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Publication Date: 19/10/2023 ISBN: 9780241626085 Category:
Paperback / Softback


Become the envy of all book lovers with your own Mr B’s sticker to show off where you do your shopping.



How can we change the conversation around gender, become better allies, challenge misconceptions and make the world a better place?

Anti-transgender legislation is being introduced across the world in record-breaking numbers. Trans people are under attack in sports, healthcare, entertainment, schools, bathrooms and nearly every walk of life.

Schuyler Bailar didn’t set out to be an activist, but his very public transition to the Harvard men’s swim team put him in the spotlight. His choice to be open about his journey and share his experience has touched people around the world. His plain-spoken education has evolved into tireless advocacy for inclusion and collective liberation. In He/She/They, Schuyler uses storytelling and the art of conversation to give us essential language and context of gender, meeting everyone where they are and paving the way for understanding, acceptance and, most importantly, connection. Schuyler clearly and compassionately addresses fundamental topics, from why being transgender is not a choice and why pronouns are important, to more complex issues including how gender-affirming healthcare can be lifesaving and why allowing trans youth to play sports is good for every child.

More than a book on allyship, He/She/They also speaks to trans people directly, answering the question, ‘does it get better?’ with a resounding yes, celebrating radical trans joy. With a relatable narrative rooted in facts, science and history, Schuyler helps restore common sense and humanity to a discussion that continues to be divisively co-opted and deceptively politicized. Myth-busting, affirming and compassionate, He/She/They is a crucial, urgent and lifesaving book that will forever change the conversation about gender.


‘Informative, fabulous to read, and leaves the reader with joy. I love this book!’ Jonathan Van Ness, New York Times bestselling author, and TV personality

‘Written for both a trans and a general readership, [this] is a solid introduction to why trans rights matter’ Publisher’s Weekly

‘I wish I had this book to guide my own journey years ago, but I am so glad it exists now. We need it!’ Dylan Mulvaney, actress, comedian

Publisher Review

"This book is informative, fabulous to read, and leaves the reader with information, joy and proactive ways to get involved in what is one of the most important human rights conversations of our time. I love this book & Schuyler, you will too!" * Jonathan Van Ness, New York Times bestselling author, podcaster, comedian, and television personality * "Schuyler was the first trans person I ever followed on social media. He/She/They reminded me of why I hit that follow button years ago- because of Schuyler's ability to speak on gender in non-intimidating ways. I wish I had this book to guide my own journey years ago, but I am so glad it exists now. We need it!" * Dylan Mulvaney, actress, comedian, TikTok personality * "It's a stark sign of what trans people are still up against that this book is so necessary, almost ten years after Laverne Cox appeared on the cover of Time magazine. But I know I speak for trans people everywhere when I say, no one is better suited to this than Schuyler. He is the master of accessible, inclusive and entertaining explainers" -- Freddy McConnell, author and journalist "Schuyler is a wonderful role model for so many trans people who are passionate, loving and kind in this world. He/She/They is a beautiful, embracing, and compassionate book for those wanting to explore their own, or another's gender identity. I know so many trans people will be eternally grateful for Schuyler Bailar's work, including this brilliant book" -- Jamie Windust, Author & Broadcaster, Contributing Editor at Gay Times "Through this heart-holding educational memoir, Schuyler Bailar swims through a sea of hate and misinformation - preaching love and learning. Schuyler's words seek to challenge power and connect to those who really need it. And that's what we need right fucking now" -- Radam Ridwan (@radamridwan), trans non-binary content creator, author of 'The Lockdown Lookbook' 'Courageous and heartwarming, He/She/They sheds light on the journey of gender discovery and acceptance. As a fellow advocate for transgender rights, I am inspired by Schuyler's unwavering honesty and resilience. His powerful narrative challenges societal norms, encouraging readers to embrace their authentic selves fearlessly. A must-read for anyone seeking understanding, compassion, and hope on the path to self-discovery' -- Jazz Jennings, [she/her], activist, television personality, and author

Find this book on the following lists

Book experts at your service

What are you looking for?

A recommendation
Something specific
  • Mr B's Recommendation Station
  • Fill in the three questions below, along with your name and email address, and our book experts will be in touch soon with their personal recommendations

  • I'm after something specific
  • Tell us about the book, author or subject you're looking for, along with your name and email address and our book experts will be in touch as soon as possible